Bless my Heart

SO, SO, SO behind on blogging. Honestly, 2010 was rough for the Hodges...lots of sadness over the death of my Father-in-law. Not sure if we are out of the obvious Funk we were in, but I know we are now TRYING, at least.

I'm back on the healthy kick, doing WW again and exercising regularly. 2011 was a 'fat girl' year for me. A year where there are VERY few pictures that I am in, b/c I didn't want to document forever how I had lost control. I've had a few chubby years. I've notice in the lean years I CAN'T STOP having my picture taken. This year, not so much.

So, I'm going to let this be my "Before" picture...taken in mid-December at Miriam's Pinkalicious party...see how I use my own kid to cover up my gut...that's just sad.



I'm admitting that I lost control. Admitting that I use food to ease pain and sadness. I think I've finally realized that the brief joy that really yummy food can bring isn't worth what it does to my body, my health, my self-esteem. The guilt is overwhelming and not worth the pleasure that closet eating Zaxby's might bring. I've been back on track for 7 wks, lost 12.5 lbs and have only fallen after the wagon once. I've had some really emotional things happen during that time and DIDN'T turn toward food...My one lapse in control had more to do with a hangover and thinking I NEEDED grease to make it all go away. Any suggestions there??? Maybe I shouldn't drink so much that I get a hangover?? That would be the grown-up, mature response, but let's be realistic. Momma needs a drink every now & then.

As for exercise, I'm tearing up Zumba and the elliptical. I LOVE SWEATING!!!! Anyone who knew me in my younger days probably finds that hard to believe. My new goal is to do a mini-triathlon at Sandestin in August. I might even try one here in June...if I could get past my spin class Phobia...the potential embarrassment of passing out/falling off a bike at the gym is too much to handle.

My girl is doing so good. Her music teacher at school is convinced that she'll win American Idol if it's still around when she's 15. I'm ready to try to get her an agent and Paul is rangling me in from turning into Lynne Spears. As I type this, to keep her occupied, we are playing beauty shop. She's "styling and trimming" my "not good" hair and I'm pretending to be the customer on my laptop. The imagination from this girl makes me so proud to be her mommy...She just told me "You almost look great." I don't mind being pulled every which way if I can hear her pretend to tell her co-workers, "I've got the best customer in the shop. She's going to pay me a bunch of monies"

If I had it, I would! Stay posted...I'm going to do better at this blog, I promise!